Seven
Seven new stars
Created in strife
Eighteen new ways
To live your new life
Lying under the blanket
The black comfort of night
Staring up at the Seven
Bathed in their radiant light
Oh, how I’ve battled
And fought to get here
Exhaustion washes over me
Whispering lullabies in my ear
One by one, a new light comes shining
Two by two, the new souls come riding
Three horses between them, two souls and one star
Three horses have found them, and will soon travel far
Four years of hard riding, five planets, six moons
Six moons of full shining, They’ll be finished soon
Seven new suns floating over my head
Seven new stars grace my grassy bed
Seven new signals that I’m not alone
Eighteen new ways to find my way home.
Not entirely sure whether the last huge stanza goes with the rest of it or not. Hmm. Either way, I suppose. At least leave a comment about the big part's relation to the rest.
Wrote this last night, because I was bored. Left it sitting, and changed a few choice words (poetry can't be edited like fiction. It's too delicately built, and once the inspiration is gone, any changes will kill it), and posted it. So there you go.
posted by Patrick at 6:34 PM
2 Comments:
Very interesting and I mean that in a good way.
In my opinion I think the big part went fine with the smaller parts. The only thing I don't get is what are you writing about? It's a fabulous poem, it sounds great but I don't really know what it's talking about.
It sounds like a poem you would find in a fiction novel like lord of the rings or something like that. Well no matter what idea you're trying to get across, it definently grabed my attention and kept it. Good job.
Lol. I did notice that this was very different from stuff I usually write. Truth be told, I'm only somewhat sure what I'm writing about here... Something about souls becoming stars. I'm not entirely sure. But yeah, I agree that it sounds kinda fiction noveley.
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